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I’m liking the sound of Education Minister Erica Stanford’s approach to sex education. But it won’t be plain sailing, and she knows that.  

But there’s a glaring gap in this new framework she’s put out for consultation, with ideas of what kids might be taught and when from year 1 to year 13.   

I’ll come back to the glaring gap. But Erica Stanford is going into this with her eyes wide open, knowing how fraught this can be – with some parents thinking that it’s not a school’s job to teacher their kids about sex and relationships.  

I’m the complete opposite. I think there is a role for parents in sex education, but it’s in the area of values. Because a curriculum can't teach values – that’s the sort of stuff kids learn from parents and caregivers.   

So let the kids get a consistent sex education at school and let the parents discuss how what they’re being taught fits with their personal and family values.  

I’ve had a read-through of the draft guidelines which are all about making sure kids up and down the country —from the time they start school at age 5 to whenever they finish school— are taught the same stuff at the same time about sex and relationships.  

The Education Minister has been at pains to say that NZ First hasn’t had its hands on the drafting of the framework, but it may as well have.  

Because I've read through the document and, from what I can see, the word “gender” is mentioned only once. And it’s not used in a way that means kids being confused about their gender identity.  

There’s pretty much nothing in there about gender identity, but there should be. Because, whether we like it or not, there are kids crying out for this.   

But that is something NZ First has been big on. With its demand —as part of its coalition deal with National— that the Government remove and replace the previous gender, sexuality, and relationship-based education guidelines.

And as a result of that, we have these new guidelines which are out for consultation.  

But nothing in there about gender identity, which I think is a major shortcoming. Because, surely, our sex and relationship education needs to reflect the real-world, not one particular view of the world.  

And, surely, kids who are struggling with this can only benefit from what they’re experiencing being acknowledged in the education they and their mates get.  

I’m not expecting you to get that if you haven’t necessarily been through the experience of having a child with gender issues. I haven’t, but I know people who have. And I reckon that, unless we’ve been through that experience, we have no real idea about the need for this to be included in the curriculum.  

I'm talking about the need for our sex education programme to be honest and realistic and to include some of the things that some of us would rather ignore.